...so i touched it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
