He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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