I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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