1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
someone get that fucking seahorse.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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