I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
