That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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