just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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