In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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