dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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