I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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