My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
