We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
