one two three fourrrrnication!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
