he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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