Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
