so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
