matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you would pick up someone in the library
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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