I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
