tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
