if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Is it because I queefed?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
