We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
