I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
