**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
