Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I intend to get homeless drunk
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
