i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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