One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
