My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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