Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
