Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
