did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He better not be in your backpack
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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