Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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