i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We need to get me chipped asap
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