If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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