I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
