hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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