he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
