I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He shit in the fireplace
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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