Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
