yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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