I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i came on her dog
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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