My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
