This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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