so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize