And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
