she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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