he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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