My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Randomize