Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Best friends brother. Beat that.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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