You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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