Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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