chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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