even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
