Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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