he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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