i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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