I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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