their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
