Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize