Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
