Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
