Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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