Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
